Life suddenly changes when your child is officially diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. As a parent, there is a certain kind of relief in knowing that the disorder has a name, that your family is not alone, and that special help is available, but that’s only the tip of the iceberg.
“Understanding that the neurological disorder exists is one thing, but trying to translate a long list of symptoms into a working strategy may feel overwhelming,” said Alan Flory, President and CEO of ReDiscover, “The day-to-day issues of living with a child with special needs are challenging for parents and can be stressful to the entire family. It’s important to know that it really is possible to get the kind of help you need to lean about the disorder and to handle the unique challenges that you face when you are living with Asperger’s Syndrome.”
What is Asperger’s Syndrome?
Young children with Asperger’s Syndrome typically have normal to advanced language and intellectual development; yet they experience distinct impairment in two-way social interaction. Some symptoms include severe difficulties with transitions, struggles with change, obsessive concerns about following set routines, and difficulty comprehending the facial expressions of others.
How does that impact your daily life, if you’re the parent?
It may take more time than you expect for your child to respond to a question that you ask. Children with Asperger’s Syndrome sometimes need extra time to process questions.
“Patience and compassion is the key.” Flory said, “To the parent, it may seem as if the child must physically stop what he or she is thinking, put that information away, consider what your question means, compose an answer, and then respond. If you interrupt the child’s thinking process, the child will have to restart the process to come up with the answer. It can be frustrating, but it really helps if you can wait patiently for the child’s answer and help others learn to wait.”
Another issue involves communication.
According to ReDiscover Psychiatrist Dr. John Wubbenhorst, “Children with Asperger’s Syndrome can have a great deal of difficulty interpreting the semantics of speech or the nonverbal cues in conversations. So, they may not know when you are serious or if you are just kidding. Sarcasm and some humor are often not understood, and explanations of what is meant may be difficult to translate. Social cues have to be specifically taught to these children and parents need help learning ways to help kids understand.”
Angry outbursts, yelling, or shrieking can be daily issues for parents of children with Asperger’s syndrome. An unexpected change in routine may cause an emotional ‘meltdown.‘
Learning how to recognize and manage symptoms is the key to living with Asperger’s Syndrome or any mental illness.
What do you need to know?
When your child has an angry outburst, it helps to realize that the child is not deliberately trying to be difficult, although it may feel that way if you’re overwhelmed when it happens. An angry outburst is actually a common way for the child to express that he or she is feeling overwhelmed and needs your help to get things back into control.
Wubbenhorst said, “Sometimes your child will feel compelled to repeat the same thing over and over again. If you tune into that, it may serve as a warning sign for you to recognize when your child is becoming increasingly stressed or over stimulated, Then, you can help him or her find a way to take a break to relax or regroup.
Children with Asperger’s Syndrome can have difficulty with unstructured play times and may not respond well to unexpected changes in their schedule or in their environment.
What do you need to watch out for?
Sometimes loud noises, bright lights, strong tastes or textures are triggers that over-stimulate your child’s heightened sensitivity.
Children with Asperger’s Syndrome may need extra help shifting gears between activities. Learning to give one or two warnings before a change of activity can help.
Daily and weekly routines are especially important to children with Asperger’s Syndrome. It helps to give as much advance notice as possible if there is going to be a change or disruption in the schedule. A picture or word schedule may be help a child deal with difficult transitions.”
Sitting still for long periods of time may be stressful. Parents can help by planning short breaks of walking around or talking one-to-one with the child.
Just because your child learns something in one situation, it doesn’t automatically mean that he or she will be able to apply the concept to new situations.
“When your situation reaches a point that things are going well, it doesn’t mean that your child is ‘cured’ or that ‘it’s time to take away support’.” Wubbenhorst said. “Asperger’s syndrome is a lifelong condition. With treatment, the disorder can stabilize. People with Asperger’s Syndrome can lead successful lives and enjoy meaningful relationships with friends and family.”
ReDiscover and other community mental health agencies offer care that includes teaching families how to manage daily life with Asperger’s Syndrome, providing at-home support at the level it is needed, and working with individuals and their families to address problems that include finding ways to meet life’s challenges.
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