Raising a child with special needs is a fulltime job packed with intensity. As weeks morph into months and months turn into years, the pressures of round-the-clock caregiving for children with special needs can be overwhelming to parents.
“Managing family life is stressful especially when you are first dealing with identifying the child’s health issue and planning how to manage an obstacle or crisis that is unfolding,” said Alan Flory, President and CEO of ReDiscover.
“Unfortunately, stress doesn’t immediately evaporate when a crisis is over. Stress can continue to grow with the daily pressures of living ‘normal’ life. Parents, who are caregivers of children with special needs like Asperger’s syndrome, bipolar disorder, or other mental or physical issues,face stressful situations so often that they may feel compelled to put their own needs on the ‘back burner’ forever. They need to be reminded to take care of themselves, not just their child.”
The daily demands of caregiving for children with special needs can become so challenging that parents forget the basics of taking care of themselves. Yet, how parents deal with the daily pressures of life can positively or negatively impact their own mental health and their overall health and well-being.
Flory said, “There will be times when you can’t do everything that needs to be done. It helps if you can call on a friend, family member, support group or counselor for hands-on help or even over-the-phone advice. Just talking to someone can help you cope and can make you feel better.”
But, don’t forget to connect with others when you aren’t in crisis.
Mental Health America, the country’s leading nonprofit dedicated to helping ALL people live mentally healthier lives, suggests these four tips to help caregivers:
Get connected with family and friends. Having fun, laughing and focusing on things other than your responsibilities helps you keep your emotional balance and makes you a much better caregiver.
Use community resources, such as adult day services, meal or shopping services, and caregiver support groups to help lighten your workload.
Talk to your supervisor at work about your caregiving responsibilities, so he or she knows what difficulties you may experience. Ask your human resources department for information on the Family and Medical Leave Act, which allows up to 12 weeks a year unpaid leave for family caregivers who meet certain requirements. Get involved in spiritual activities. Studies have shown that religious involvement and spirituality are associated with better health outcomes, such as greater coping skills, less anxiety and a lower risk of depression. Spirituality may provide a sense of hope, meaning and purpose in life, a way to understand suffering and illness, and a connection with others. Religious and spiritual practices, such as prayer and meditation, can evoke positive emotions that can lead to better health.
Flory said, “Finding healthy ways to manage daily stress can lower the risk of mental health and other health problems for caregiving parents. It’s important to the whole family that caregiving parents take care of themselves and learn how to take time to relax frequently.”
What should caregiving parents do?
Rest your brain. Too busy? Stop and take a deep breath. Some caregivers relax by listening to music, reading a book, or watching a funny movie. Deep breathing, yoga, or meditation can be relaxing ways to re-energize.
Exercise your body and your mind. Exercising improves a caregiver’s mood and helps improve the quality of sleep at bedtime. Exercise can help ease symptoms of anxiety and depression.
Say ‘yes’ to yourself. Make time for yourself by saying ‘yes’ to your own needs. If you’re overwhelmed at home or work, learn how to set your limits so that you get the care you need, too.
Try encouraging yourself. Positive self-talk matters. Try not to put yourself down when you make a mistake or fall short of a goal. Train yourself to acknowledge and cheer yourself on for every step you make.
But, what if things aren’t going well? How do you know if too much is officially becoming ‘too much’ to handle?
Warning signs for caregivers:
- Feeling angry, irritable or easily frustrated by your normal daily activities
- Feeling overwhelmed by your caregiving role
- Changing in your own eating habits to skip meals or too over indulge
- Experiencing problems concentrating or problems with memory
- Feeling nervous or anxious about your ability to continue to cope
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Feeling burned out physically or emotionally
- Feeling that you can’t overcome difficulties in your life
- Having trouble functioning in your job or personal life
Help is available. ReDiscover and other community mental health agencies offer care that includes teaching families how to manage daily life caring for children with special needs. ReDiscover provides at-home support at the level it is needed, and works with individuals and their families to address problems that include finding ways to meet life’s challenges.
