ReDiscover’s Dr. Nancy Osborn on Fox 4 This Morning

Rediscover: Tackling Teenage Suicide Issues

http://www.myfoxkc.com/myfox/pages/ContentDetail?contentId=6309390

Kansas City News  Related Items Rediscover helps people tackle difficult issues, like suicide.The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report suicide as the third leading cause of death for people ages 15 to 24, exceeded only by accidents and homicide. Adults can easily disregard the level of pain felt by teens. But for teens the pain is real, and sometimes it can seem like too much.  What are some warning signs?  Lack of interest in activities Trouble concentrating Feeling hopeless/guilty Changes in eating or sleeping habits Talk about death or “going away” When should we be alarmed? Begins collecting weapons Researches ways to die Gives away personal items Threatens suicide verbally Shows increased irritability Becomes happy for no reason after depression DON’T'T FORGET….ReDiscover is hosting the CEU-approved workshop TEENS WHO HURT to bring mental health professionals together in an effort to learn about new ways to help troubled teens heal. This educational event allows professionals in the mental health field to learn more about Techniques for Re-channeling Rage, Critical aggravating factors that include Devaluation & the Erosion of Community, and Strategies for working with difficult adolescents.  Nationally acclaimed speaker Dr. Kenneth V. Hardy will discuss teens, violence and the process of healing. Download the Brochure here. About ReDiscover http://www.rediscovermh.orgFor interviews, Contact Robin Blakely 660-973-2723 or Robin@GetPRTHERAPY.com ReDiscover, a non-profit community mental health agency, offers a full spectrum of programs and services for people whose lives have been affected by mental illness and/or substance abuse. ReDiscover helps men, women, and children, including those who have limited income, no insurance, or who are under-insured.

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Communication is the key to family peace of mind

Columbine. Virginia Tech.  The Nebraska mall and the Ward Parkway shootings.

When shocking acts of violence are reported, especially when the events occur in a nearby city or neighboring state, families naturally worry about their own schools, their own shopping centers, and their own children’s safety.

ReDiscover CEO and President Alan Flory said, “Parents can help provide real safety precautions that shield children against harm by talking to their kids about cues and clues that exist when their friends, classmates, or even themselves need real help.”

What are some warning signs that a young person needs help?

• angry and uncontrollable outbursts
• bringing a weapon to school
• suicide threats
• bullying other children
• talks about death, suicide or hurting others
• routinely choosing themes of death or violence when writing, drawing, emailing, or blogging
• regularly choosing TV shows, movies, music, comics, video games and Internet websites that are predominantly focused on themes of death or violence
• using alcohol or illicit drugs
• causing disciplinary problems at school
• vandalism
• showing cruelty to animals

“Warning signs can’t predict a violent crime but warning signs do indicate the real need for special attention when a child or teen requires help,” Flory said. “Parents need to encourage their children to share concerns they have about the behavior of others, but typically many warning signs will present themselves if the parent makes time to talk to the child about the child’s day… every day.”

Communication provides peace of mind.

Marsha Palmer-Thelwell, a Program Manager and Licensed Clinical Social Worker for ReDiscover’s School & Community Services, said “Sometimes parents and kids have to learn new ways to communicate. It sounds easy, but it can be hard to talk to each other, especially when you’re a parent dealing with teenagers.  As a parent, you want to give them space. You want to respect their privacy, but parents need to be available to help teens recognize the warning signs when danger is out there.”

How?

Palmer-Thelwell explained, “Communication quality improves when we ask better and different questions when we talk to our kids.  Most of us ask our kids for status reports like ‘How was school? Did you finish your book report? How did you do on that test?’ Then, we’re surprised by one-word answers like ‘Okay, yes, not bad.’  We need status reports, but it helps to know if you ask different kinds of questions, the answers may shed light on other situations that need your help and support.”

How can a parent change old communication patterns that aren’t effective?

 According to Palmer-Thelwell, “Try asking questions that don’t have one-word answers.  Ask stuff like ‘what was the toughest question on the test? What was the funniest part of your day?’ If kids are talkative, stay quiet and listen.  Don’t forget to share some memorable moments from your day, too. One of the best ways today that parents can proactively protect their kids is to maintain open lines of communication and really stay tuned in to each other.  Talking makes a huge difference on every level.”

Flory agreed, and added, “ Sometimes what the child doesn’t say can alert an adult to potential problems.  Signs of anxiety suggest that a child or teenager needs increased adult support.”

What are some behavioral issues that serve as warning signs that your child or teen may be facing a situation or concern that requires your help?

• changes in school performance,
• changes in relationships with friends and teachers
• excessive worry
• sleeplessness
• nightmares
• headaches or stomachaches
• loss of interest in favorite activities
• hanging out with a new and different crowd
• drastic changes in style of clothing or dress

What if your child expresses a special concern about safety or potential violence at their school, church, or social hangout?

Help is available.  Take concerns seriously.  Talk about that concern with the child and discuss your shared concerns with the appropriate school personnel or community leaders. ReDiscover, and other community mental health agencies, provide services to help people develop communication skills, sort out feelings, set goals, and work toward making improvements that can make your life feel safe and meaningful.

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Voters’ voices make a difference

 by Robin Blakely
Special to the Journal

Depression. Bipolar disorder. Schizophrenia.

The mere mention of these diseases can scare us because most of our lives will be touched by one of these mental illnesses through someone we care about. Yet, most of us don’t know what to do to actively prevent mental illness or to change whatever needs to be changed to improve healthcare services for people who are sick now.

“For most of us, the scariest part about mental illness is how vulnerable we all are,” said Alan Flory, ReDiscover CEO and president. “Mental illnesses are physical brain disorders which disrupt a person’s ability to think, feel and relate to others. Mental illnesses can affect people of all backgrounds and all stages of life. Absolutely no one is immune. The first step to helping us fight mental illness is understanding that this is a very personal fight for each and everyone of us.”

Mental illnesses are much more common than most people have typically understood – and there are many different kinds of illnesses, not just one. The cost of mental illnesses on individuals, families and the community is huge, and the need for services is increasing.

According to The World Health Organization, mental illnesses rank first in terms of causing disability in the United States and, collectively, is the most prevalent problem in America today. Mental illness is more common than cancer and lung and heart diseases combined.

Mental health needs are increasing in Missouri on a myriad of fronts:

• More people are losing health insurance from their work place,
• Private hospital beds for mental illnesses have been reduced in the region, and
• Hospital emergency rooms are overwhelmed with mental health and substance abuse problems that could and should be treated earlier and elsewhere.

“I’m often asked what needs to be changed to improve care for the family members and friends who are sick now,” Flory said. “The needs are so great that many times caring individuals who want to help may feel paralyzed about what they can or should do to make a real difference.”

One way to make a difference is to personally tour a community mental health center to see firsthand what programs and services are actually available locally.

ReDiscover is a nonprofit community mental health center that provides hope and help for recovery from mental illnesses and substance dependency. Through the years, community mental health centers like ReDiscover have consistently worked with the business community, the schools, the juvenile justice system, disaster response teams, special populations and numerous government and private agencies. When you tour a facility, you will discover many ways that you can provide time, talent and support that can help change lives.

Another way to make a difference is to let your concerned voice be heard by elected officials in federal, state and local districts. A new vehicle to inform legislators of the need for mental health services is called voterVOICE. The online voterVOICE service enables supporters to send on point, quality messages quickly and easily. Information about this free service can be found at www.rediscovermh.org or www.votervoice.net/groups/mccmhc/register.

“Voters who speak up can and do make a huge impact. More community support means more attention to funding for mental health care services,” Flory said. “Recently, Missouri’s House Budget Committee finalized their budget. Mental healthcare for Missourians fared relatively well in the process. The Budget Committee offered a 3 percent increase for community providers, which is an increase equal to that given to state employees. This is a drastically needed budget adjustment after years of inequity. Budget decisions like this help make quality care possible for those who critically need recovery services in our community.”

If you or someone you know needs help with mental health issues, ReDiscover’s 24-hour access line is 816-966-0900.

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Know the warning signs to watch for of teens at-risk of suicide

by Robin Blakely
Special to the Journal

People sometimes don’t believe that teens and young adults can experience the kind of pain that leads to thoughts of suicide. Yet, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is actually the third leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-olds, exceeded only by accidents and homicide.

“Adults sometimes disregard the level of emotional pain felt by teens,” said Dr. Nancy Osborn, a psychologist who specializes in working with youth and families in ReDiscover’s Adult and Family Services program. “Many teens experience a lot of pressure from many different sources, including from themselves. Sometimes they do not feel they measure up to others’ expectations or even to their own expectations. Their feelings can become very intense and sometimes they feel like they have very little support.”

Osborn has worked with youth for more than 20 years and has developed a particular expertise helping kids and families who range from moderately to extremely challenged.

“Teens who are at risk for suicide often suffer from depression,” Osborn said. “A teen with depression may not know how to escape from his or her emotional pain. Suicide may seem like an opportunity to escape whatever is going on. At a particular moment, to some distressed teens, dying may seem like the only way out.”

Most of the time there are warning signs, such as obvious depression or increased isolation. Sometimes teens talk about not wanting to be around or that they express that they are feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes there are no apparent warning signs that a teen is on the brink of suicide.

“An ordinary situation like a fight with a friend or a bad grade on a test or the combination of several disappointments may not seem like alarming events to the average adult because ordinarily they are not alarming,” said Alan Flory, CEO and president of ReDiscover. “But, at a vulnerable point in time, ordinary situations may be more than a teen can manage. So, even though a single event may seem trivial or unimportant to a parent or friend, what the teen is going through may feel severe to the teen. The real issue is not about the event that happened, it’s about the feelings invoked by the event – and those feelings are never trivial – they are monumentally important.”

Osborn agreed.

“It is important for friends and family to be aware if the teen is experiencing pressure or seems to be overwhelmed,” Osborn said. “It is very important to keep the lines of communication open.”

Communication is particularly helpful when the teen experiences one or more major losses or is facing stressful life events like a school problem, a breakup with a girlfriend or boyfriend, the death of a relative, or the divorce of his or her parents. At times like these, early warning signs can be when a teen exhibits one or more of the following:

• Lack of interest in favorite activities
• Trouble concentrating or thinking clearly
• Talk about feeling hopeless
•  Remarks about feeling guilty
• Changes in eating or sleeping habits
• Talk about death in general
• Talk about “going away”

“Adults should be alarmed and intervene whenever a teen is exhibiting self-destructive behavior like drinking alcohol, taking drugs or even driving recklessly,” Flory said.

Other warning signs that a teen or young adult is at-risk may include participating in one or more of the following activities:

• Begins collecting weapons
• Researches ways to die
• Gives away meaningful personal items
• Threatens suicide verbally
• Shows increased irritability
• Becomes happy for no reason after long depression
• Directly attempts suicide

 How can you help someone who is suicidal?

“Many times teens think they can help their close friends through issues – like experiencing suicidal thoughts – alone,” Osborn said. “It is obviously important to remain supportive, but if any individual is thinking about suicide, it is imperative to get professional help quickly. Go to an adult. If the first adult you approach does not understand or seems like they don’t want to listen, keep asking for help until your requests are genuinely heard. There is hope – teens can make their way out of their depression/suicidal ideation. Treatment really does help.”

Help is available. There are many resources for teens in need. If you or someone you know is considering suicide or is suffering from stress, depression or anxiety, ReDiscover or other community mental health agencies can help.

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Warning Signs of Mental Illness At-Work

Business is business, but sometimes the work life and the personal life can collide.  As a supervisor or office associate, you can’t professionally diagnose a fellow employee’s mental wellness. However, you may be one of the first people to notice and offer help when something is seriously wrong or when a personal crisis is brewing for someone you work with routinely.

            What are the warning signs that an employee may be facing serious mental health issues?   

            According to www.MentalHealthAmerica.net, mental health problems manifest in a number of ways in the workplace.  Some employee behaviors that may be signs of a mental health problem include:

·                     Working slowly

·                     Missing deadlines

·                     Expressing irritability and anger

·                     Difficulty concentrating and making decisions

·                     Appearing numb or emotionless

·                     Withdrawing from work activity

·                     Overworking

·                     Forgetting directives, procedures and requests

·                     Having difficulty with work transitions or changes in routines

            Alan Flory, CEO and President of ReDiscover, identified a critical indicator, “One of the most important signs that an employee is struggling with mental health issues is when normal job performance declines and he or she begins calling in sick frequently.  When work performance decreases and absenteeism increases, a lot is placed at-risk for both the business and for the employee.  Help and support need to happen quickly for the good of both the individual and the work environment.” 

            Why?

            “Absenteeism as a result of mental health issues has a large impact on employee productivity and the company’s bottom line. In fact, depression and stress cost more for a corporation than diabetes, heart disease and hypertension combined,” said Rita Piper, Vice President of Wellness Services for Workplace Options, the largest provider of work-life programs and services to corporations in the United States.

            Piper shared the following startling statistics about mental health issues in the work world:

·         Depression is the leading cause of disability in the workforce

·         20 percent of the workforce suffers from some sort of mental illness

·         About ¾ of all visits to a doctor’s office is related to stress

·         60-90 percent of medical problems are in some way associated with stress

            According to Piper, companies can take a proactive approach to help their employees achieve a healthy work-life balance. Once employee issues are identified, companies can bring in specialists to offer on-site seminars on time and stress management, relaxation techniques, and even provide referral services and resources for things such as child care, adoption, elder care, wellness, education, and more. To help with mental wellness, some employers offer on-site work-out centers and breaks throughout the work day for employees to get up, stretch and walk around.
            Flory elaborated. “Sometimes people wonder: ‘what’s that got to do with mental health?  How can exercise breaks or access to information on childcare, physical health, or time management possibly help an employee’s mental health management in the work environment?’  The reality is that serious family stress can derail a dedicated employee. Providing needed information that is clear and timely helps diffuse stress and offers hope for employees who are dealing with a mental health problem of their own or one that is in their family. When an employee’s child, spouse or elderly parent has a serious mental health problem, it can disrupt the employee’s work schedule, lead to absences, and interfere with concentration in almost the same way as if the employee had the mental health problem personally.”

            Access to timely information can also reduce fear and anxiety and help pave the way toward recovery.

            Employees commonly struggle with how to tell managers or the staff that they directly supervise what’s going on when mental health issues arise.  Concern about what co-workers may think—the stigma that commonly surrounds mental illness—is one of the most serious barriers to treatment and recovery. Many employees do not know that with proper treatment most people recover from mental illnesses and continue to live productive lives.

            Help is available.  If you or someone you know is suffering from stress, depression, or anxiety, ReDiscover or other community mental health agencies can help you understand ways to handle your situation at home and at work.

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Sometimes laughter is not the best medicine

Chances are you’d never think of making fun of a young mother for having breast cancer. You probably can’t imagine mocking a grandfather for fighting heart disease or poking fun at a 9-year-old child for coping with diabetes. It’s simply not socially acceptable to ridicule people who are struggling with serious health problems. And, yet, on any given day, you can turn on your TV and find a popular sitcom or well-liked movie where individuals with mental illnesses are cast as the punch line for a myriad of jokes.

So, why is it OK to laugh at people with mental illnesses?

The answer is simple–it’s not OK. Insensitive remarks on TV or in real life perpetuate the stigma associated with having a mental illness.

“Mental illness is second only to heart disease as the leading cause of sickness in this country and worldwide,” said ReDiscover CEO and President Alan Flory. “The public readily understands that heart disease is a serious illness that impacts the heart – but when it comes to mental illness, there is often huge confusion and an incredible lack of understanding about the real people and the terrible hardships they are struggling to survive. Mental illnesses are serious medical conditions that physically impact the brain.”

The biggest misunderstanding may revolve around the word ‘mental.’ For decades the phrase ‘mental illness’ has been misunderstood to mean that the disease is ‘all in your head’ and is perhaps caused by your own choices or actions. 

 

“We still run across students who have been told by adults or others that a mental health disorder means that ‘you’re just being weak’ or that ‘you lack some character strength,’” said Marsha Palmer-Thelwell, a program manager and licensed clinical social worker for ReDiscover’s School and Community Services. “No one would ever suggest that willpower alone could cure cancer, diabetes, and heart disease; but there is still a prevailing misconception among many people that if you have a mental illness you should be able to just ‘get over it’ whenever you decide that you want to. That myth is part of the stigma of mental illness.”

Training people how to cope with common misunderstandings about mental illness is important to recovery. Insensitive TV shows or insulting advertisements can make it more difficult for an individual with a mental illness to cope with getting treatment for the illness.

According to the Surgeon General’s Report, one in 10 young Americans suffer from some sort of mental health problem, but only 20 percent are getting treatment for it. For anyone with a mental illness, stigma can stop them from seeking help. In some cases, the consequences of the stigma can be as distressing as the illness itself. Some of the most damaging effects of stigma include:

• Trying to pretend nothing is wrong
• Refusal to seek treatment
• Work problems or discrimination
• Difficulty finding housing
• Being subjected to physical violence or harassment
• Inadequate health insurance coverage of mental illnesses

 

“Mental illness is beginning to be more widely understood as a genuine medical condition,” said Flory. “The old misconception that a family or an individual is to blame for a mental illness is vanishing. That means that the field of mental health is headed toward the beginning of a new era. We are at a monumental place in history where people with mental illness can start to get the same kind of respect, care, and services as other people who have a disability.”

Remember, if you have a mental illness, effective treatments are available. You can learn to manage symptoms of mental illness and find ways to participate in a network of support. ReDiscover, and other community mental health agencies, offer services for individuals and their families and can help connect caring individuals to community advocacy.

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Robin Blakely, a regular columnist for the Journal and Lee’s Summit resident, manages the speakers bureau for ReDiscover, a community mental health agency serving Lee’s Summit and all of Eastern Jackson County.

Warning Signs for ‘Workaholics’: Are You On The Brink Of A Big Break Or A Big Breakdown?

By Robin Blakely

You may love your job. You may eat, sleep, and breathe all things work-related. You may be taking hours of work home because that’s how you get your best work done or that’s where your home-based business is already located.

But, when is enough, well, really enough? 

Research clearly shows that the stress associated with ‘workaholic’ behaviors can take a toll on both your mental and physical health,   So, what are the warning signs that burnout is looming around the very next corner and that your mental wellness is genuinely at-risk? 

According to Bob Livingstone, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and author of The Body Mind Soul Solution:  Healing Emotional Pain through Exercise, serious lack of sleep, severe job stress, and persistent physical exhaustion can add up to just too much.  Livingstone advices ‘workaholics’ to watch for the following warning signs:

•         increased lack of concentration.

•         increased irritability and mood swings. 

•         allowing previously minor nuisances to be experienced as major crises. 

•         Difficulty falling asleep at night and feeling exhausted during the day. 

•         Experiencing signs of depression such as lack of appetite, no enjoyment in activities that previously provided pleasure and feeling fatigued most of the time.

ReDiscover CEO and President, Alan Flory agreed, “The key is to pay attention to emotions and how you feel.  Too many hours working can lead to exhaustion and burn-out, but it’s not always about the quantity of time spent at work as much as about the quality of time spent at work.  Some people can be energetic and work very long hours without being overly stressed.  People all need different amounts of sleep. Thomas Edison was reported to sleep very little, without any known negative impact—it allowed him more time for the inventions that he was passionate about creating.  But, you need to be honest with yourself.  Your health is at risk if you are so tired or so stressed that you must drink coffee to wake up, must have it every day to function, if you can’t concentrate or focus on detailed tasks as well as usual, or if you are easily irritable. You are in a dangerous health area if you are taking pills to stay awake and taking other pills to go to sleep.” 

 What can you do?

Flory explained, “Make changes to reduce stress, allow for sleep, and provide some relaxation. Exercise can reduce stress, anxiety and depression significantly.  Exercise early in the day…you will be less stressed and the activity will also help you sleep better.  Don’t drink caffeine after noon.  Most people who quit caffeine or stop taking any pills to either wake up or sleep, eventually sleep better. It is normal to have some nights where it is hard to sleep, but sleepless nights may be a warning sign that you need additional help like counseling to make lifestyle changes that are long overdue.”

Livingston added, “Make sure you eat well and regularly.  Don’t over ride sleep.  In other words, if you are tired at night, go to bed.  Don’t over ride it by completing a work project on your computer.” 

But, how do you stop working if the work isn’t done?  And, how do you say ‘no’ if ‘no’ is not an option? 

Jeanne Hurlbert, PhD is a network coach who heads OptiNetResources.com, a nationally known group that helps entrepreneurs build social networks. She said, “As businesses increasingly demand that we “do more with less,” as recession looms and many people fear the repercussions that can result from declining assignments or questioning increased demands, saying ‘no’ may not be an option.  But there’s another way to avoid the mental health costs—look to your social network, on and off the job, for social support.”

According to Hurlbert, research shows that, if two people face similar levels of stress, the person with more social support is less likely to suffer health effects.  She explained, “That support comes from our social networks.  And, although it can come from work-related sources, it more typically comes from the strong ties to close friends and relatives in our social networks.  The scary news?  Research shows that Americans’ stock of those close personal ties is declining.  It’s critically important, then, that workers learn how to build and use those ties to combat work-related stress.”

Developing relationship skills and learning ways to say ’stop’ and ‘no’ can be important ways to avoid the harmful effects of ‘workaholic’ behaviors. Help is available.  ReDiscover, and other community mental health agencies, provide counseling and other services to help individuals and their families cope with work-related stress, anxiety, and depression.

Workload plunged woman into depression

By Brett Dalton
The Journal Staff

As she stood in the rain outside a convenience store, all Debby Tangblade could do is scream. The Lee’s Summit woman had had enough of just about everything. She’d had enough of work, and sometimes felt she’d had enough of life.

So on that rainy day in May 1999, near the end of a hellish work week, Tangblade tried to let it all out – her anger, her frustration, her pain. But she found out that all of the negative emotions she was feeling would last much longer than she expected.

“The last week I worked was a 93-hour week,” Tangblade said of that week in 1999 in which her bout with major depression began. “I was a distribution supervisor with a lot of responsibility in supervising, warehousing, shipping, computer systems and inventory control. That day I just snapped. I left work for an early lunch, stood in the rain in a parking lot and just screamed. I never made it back.”

Tangblade, who has battled depression for the past nine years, said her mental health “spiraled downward” after that day in the rain and said during her lowest point, she stayed in bed for the better part of seven months.

She said she could no longer do simple, everyday things such as read, write, drive, cook, make decisions or even be around people. She said her family life suffered, and she even forgot her sisters’ names.

“I became reclusive and wouldn’t allow my kids to open the door if I was near it,” she said. “Mostly, I just sat. It felt as if my brain said ‘enough is enough’ and just shut off.”

The depression was so bad, Tangblade said she gained nearly 90 pounds and even lifting her arms was “harder than any full day’s work I ever did.” Other medical conditions followed, she said.

Tangblade said she also suffered from the stigmas that surround mental health issues. She said those who don’t suffer from illnesses like depression can’t understand what she and so many others go through on a daily basis.

“I’ve had people tell me to just snap out of it,” she said. “People see me as lazy or think I just want to sit at home. People say, ‘Oh, it must be nice to sit at home every day and not do anything.’ Well it isn’t nice. It isn’t fun and it’s not a life anyone healthy actually chooses.

“Others can talk about their medical issues – cancer, heart disease, etc. – with some expectation of compassion,” she said. “People want to run if you tell them you have a mental illness that you need to see a doctor for.”

However, Tangblade is on the road to recovery thanks to her doctors and her support groups at Lee’s Summit’s ReDiscover, a nonprofit community mental health agency that offers programs and services for those with mental illness.

“With my support group, I know I will be 100 percent again, even though it’s been a long hard battle,” said Tangblade, who just recently began doing her own grocery shopping and conversing with others again.

She also said her recovery is being made possible by her husband and five daughters.

“I am lucky because I have a very supportive family,” she said. “I have been sick for a long time and have put them through a lot. But they’ve stood beside me. With the stuff I have put them through, their responses of love and support made me cry.”

Recovery wasn’t possible, however, until Tangblade acknowledged the severity of her mental illness.

“I think I started making improvements when I finally admitted that I was sick and learned to accept my illness,” she said. “(I’ve been) working with my doctor on medications and my therapist on life-coping skills, boundaries, balance and teachings on how to just get through the difficult days.”

Tangblade, who said her depression was brought on by her demanding work schedule, said she’s learned a lot from her bout with mental illness. She said she’s learned that mental health is just as important as physical health and added that anyone who is experiencing mental health issues should see a doctor immediately.

“There are doctors to help your brain sicknesses just as any other sickness,” said Tangblade, who has yet to return to the workforce, but who does volunteer at ReDiscover during the week. “There is no shame in getting help or talking about your illness. There is help, and there is no shame in seeking it.”

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What A Difference a Friend Makes for Mental Wellness

By Robin Blakely

Good mental health is just as important as good physical health.  But, how do you insure that you get on—and stay on—the wellness track for both? Experts say you need to make sure you get nutritious food, regular exercise, a good night’s sleep, and, of course, a daily recommended allowance of friendship. 

Why does friendship matter? “Relationships are crucial to healthy well being,” said Kerri Gray, a licensed marriage and family therapist at ReDiscover. ”Being connected to others and having your own support network is vital.  Having someone to talk to about the challenges you face or just having a friend to laugh and have fun with—whatever your age—is crucial to personal wellness. No one wants to feel alone.”

Nobody wants to feel like they are the only person in the world going through a difficult set of circumstances, either. If you feel intensely alone or deeply disconnected,  you may be at risk for depression or feelings of hopelessness.  A friend can help you feel more connected, hopeful, and less lonely.

“Friends simply make life worthwhile,” said, Marsha Palmer-Thelwell, a Program Manager and Licensed Clinical Social Worker for ReDiscover’s School & Community Services. “Friends increase your enjoyment of life and they can relieve feelings of loneliness and stress. The best way to get a friend is to be one.  I think it helps to have shared interests, mutual trust, and the willingness to keep in touch in busy, happy times as well as in busy, needy times.”

Three friendly reminders about healthy friendships

1. Have fun.   According to Palmer-Thelwell, “Whether it’s exploring music, art, gardening, sports, or garage sale shopping, friends need to check out new things together. The more interests you have, the more opportunities you have to build strong friendships and happy memories. It’s great to have a friend to talk about your troubles with, but it’s important that you also have fun, sharing laughs and interesting activities together.”  |

2.  Keep personal information confidential. Friends share personal information, so it’s critical that you have a mutual understanding that you will not gossip or share private information about each other with other people.

3.  Stay in touch. Even when things are going well, stay in contact with people you care about. You can make new friends or keep your friendships strong by calling, sending a note, or writing an e-mail. Obviously, friendships have different levels of depth; some are close while some are more on the surface—but all friendships need attention and care.

In crisis?  Reach out to a friend. ReDiscover CEO and President Alan Flory said,  “Close friends are often the first people we call when we need help dealing with a broken bone or a scary diagnosis of a physical condition like diabetes or cancer.  When someone is dealing with a mental illness, they, too, are most likely to reach out first to a close friend or relative. Mental illnesses affect almost every family in America. A friend can be instrumental in the recovery process by simply doing what friends do naturally— being supportive and sharing a message of hope. Science has shown us again and again that hope plays an integral role in an individual’s recovery.  Studies show that most people with mental illnesses get better, and many recover completely. Friends make all the difference in sickness and in good health.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with loneliness, depression, or anxiety, help is available.  ReDiscover and other community mental health agencies provide services to help adults, children, and entire families. You can learn ways to make friends, reconnect with people you care about, and work toward making improvements that can change your life.

Are you crazy or is your job hurting your mental health?

Think your job is impossible? Hate Mondays? Want to quit, but fear it will only be worse somewhere else?

You need to know that intense negative feelings about your job could be undermining your good mental health.

“Millions around the world are thinking, planning, and scheming about how to stretch a 24-hour day into an endless and productive workday,” said Gaby Cora, MD, MBA, President of The Executive Health & Wealth Institute, Inc. and author of “Leading Under Pressure: Strategies to Maximize Peak Performance and Productivity while Maximizing Health and Wellbeing.”

“Burnt-out, energy-depleted, or constantly stressed, many individuals find themselves unable to take pleasure in their hard-earned positions” she said.

Job misery can happen for many reasons. If it’s happening to you, you’re not alone. For some, it strikes when they feel mentally stressed to perform beyond reason. For others, it occurs when they struggle emotionally in a work environment that is psychologically toxic.

According to Edward Muzio, President and CEO of Group Harmonics, Inc. “The statistics are truly alarming. More than half of the workforce is relatively disengaged and dispirited; more than 15 percent is actively working against the employer. This means that even the people trying to contribute are in a minority. It’s hard to imagine maintaining good mental health under such circumstances.”

Hating your job or feeling hopeless or overwhelmed about your work life could be enough to make you sick.

“Sustaining high levels of stress plus the underlying feeling of constant worrying or sadness, may then trigger full-blown medical, depressive or anxiety-related problems in those genetically susceptible to experience these medical conditions. When the person expects that more money will resolve all their concerns, or when they target a specific goal as it being the magical solution to all their problems, this is when the person should do a quick assessment and address their overall degree of mental, physical and social well-being,” Cora said.

So, how do you know if your job is placing your mental health at risk?

“It’s important to recognize the tremendous impact – both good and bad – that your work can have on your individual wellness,” said ReDiscover CEO and President Alan Flory. “If most days, week after week, you are extremely stressed from work, and spend significant time – that you could otherwise be enjoying – focused on dreading going back to work, your mental wellness is at risk. The key, of course, is learning ways to manage the stress and take action to take care of yourself. You may be surprised to find out that in many cases it makes more sense to change your perspective on work than it is to change your job.”

Muzio, who is also the author of “Four Secrets to Liking Your Work: You May Not Need to Quit to Get the Job You Want,” explained a key perspective that can change how you manage your situation. “When it comes to stress at work, the cliché holds true: You’re either part of the solution, or part of the problem – your own problem,” he said. “The relationship between person and job is just that-a relationship. Like any other relationship, it doesn’t have to be perfect, but if there are too many areas of contention, it becomes untenable. Worse, it can sometimes become abusive. By owning his or her role in the relationship, the unhappy employee can move toward solution – either within the current relationship, or by moving on to the next one.”

What are some realistic goals to consider for a happier, healthier work life?

“Many, if not most, people report that the most enjoyable work involves people on their work team who can or have become good friends,” Flory said. “Strong relationships and frequent praise are ideal aspects of a healthy workplace. It helps to sort out your feelings about your work. Some good questions to ask yourself that could lead you toward improving your work life include: Do you clearly understand what is expected of you in your job role? Do you have the appropriate materials to meet expectations? Does your work help fulfill a personal passion or interest? Do you believe you’re doing good work at your job? Do you get recognized for your work? Do you feel like you’re part of the team? Is there room for you to grow at your place of employment?”

If you or someone you know is struggling with their job, help is available. When job dissatisfaction is a contributor to depression or anger, ReDiscover and other community mental health agencies can provide important first steps to help individuals identify lifestyle choices to regain control over their situations and find happier, healthier ways to live.

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